All Psyched Up: It’s a minefield
By DR. LINDA HANCOCK on July 1, 2023.
Over the years I have been so thankful for my freedom and the military who fought for my benefit. Presently I have more than two dozen Veterans on my caseload and have learned so much from each of them. Unfortunately, many of their difficulties rooting in and following their service have arisen from the choices they have made. This can be simplified by saying that making poor choices is like walking through a minefield just waiting for your happiness to be blown up with one more step. Following are four examples of choices, or mines, that can threaten the wellbeing of each one of us. Substance abuse Soldiers work hard and play darn hard. They face high risk, encounter loss and trauma and have demands that often take precedence over their personal and family lives. Their time off or breaks in the action can therefore involve drinking with comrades to reduce the stress and emotions that arise. When alcohol is used to excess or as a form of self-medication, however, it can take away control, destroy relationships and become a serious health hazard. In Alcoholics Anonymous there is an expression that says, “One is too many and fifty are not enough.” If you can’t limit the number of drinks you take, perhaps it is time to consider that you have a problem and need to make some changes. Suicide intention Those who are depressed or feeling helpless might think they can’t carry on or that others would be better off without them. I once heard a professional state that suicide is a permanent way of handling temporary problems. When you are feeling suicidal, you need to find a professional or strategy to help you to reframe and problem-solve. Fantasy Relationships Dating sites allow everyone to become whoever they want to be just by creating a profile. Consider the fact that because of this what you see will likely not be what you get. Imagining that you can instantly find the perfect partner who will make you feel better about your life can be a real stretch. First of all, other people cannot make you happy – especially if you enter a new relationship pretending you are someone who is already happy, healthy and confident. The veneer will quickly disappear, and you might actually end up in a situation that makes your life worse than it was previously. Work on yourself. Learn to be happy and realistic about who you are, what you want and where you will find that. Turning your radio off All of us have access to support. Some types are personal, some are professional and some might be found through research in books, podcasts or internet sites. When you withdraw from life and isolate yourself, however, the only input you might have is the ‘trash talk’ that is going on in your head. When soldiers go into radio silence, they lose the communications that can actually be vital for safety. Make sure that you have your radio on. Keep in touch with others, especially those who you trust and those with whom you have mutually beneficial relationships. This week think about the choices you are making and whether they are ones that improve your life better or ones that set up minefields to threaten your well-being. Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice. Visit http://www.LindaHancock.com or email her at office@drlindahancock.com. 14-13
