Mental Wellness Matters: F is for failure
By ANIKA DIRK on June 29, 2023.
When you hear the word failure, what is the first thought that comes to mind? Perhaps it is the memory of when you did not make the high school basketball team or did not get the promotion you had hoped for. What is the first emotion you experience when you hear the word failure? Is it shame, guilt, disapproval or hopelessness? Maybe there is a physical response, do your hands sweat, jaw tighten, or stomach turn in knots? All of these are normal responses to a word we have been conditioned to fear and avoid at all costs, sometimes at the expense of our health and well-being, maybe even at the expense of trying something new or engaging in a new relationship whether it be making friends or finding a partner. We hide in our comfort zone where we feel safe and protected from vulnerability. What if the word failure did not have to be a word to fear? What if it became a goal to strive for? Seems like a ridiculous proposal doesn’t it; why on earth would anyone plan for failure? Well hear me out, and if by the end of this you disagree, I still thank you for reading. So, what does it mean to fail, and why is it a word that we as humans fear and exert all our willpower and energy into avoiding? Perhaps it is because being perfect has become ingrained. After all, does practice not make perfect? If we are practicing and do not become perfect, we tell ourselves we have failed. It could be that we fear the rejection of others if we do not hold up to what we perceive their expectations to be. Have you considered though that maybe it is a good thing we fail to be perfect and fail to achieve the expectations we put on ourselves and the ones we assume others have of us? Maybe it would be more beneficial to fail to be perfect and instead see the opportunity in each attempt. We can fail to meet the expectations of others and instead, focus on doing our best. Failing to always get it right, failing to remember everything, and failing to be anyone but the best version of ourselves sounds like it could have its perks. “It is easy to write this and put it into an article, but it is much harder to accept failure. What do you, the author know?” This is most likely a thought going through your mind or some other variation of it. Well, I would be lying if I said I would not share this thought if I was reading it in an article; however, I believe in practicing before I preach and so I encourage you to trust my words. To be human is to fail, it is not a curse, but rather a blessing provided to keep us humble and learning. Perhaps failing is the key to success. Anika Dirk, Peer Support Worker, CMHA Canadian Mental Health Association, Alberta Southeast Region and can be reached at recoverytrainer@cmha-aser.ca or 403-504-1811. To find out more about CMHA programs and/or events visit http://www.cmha-aser.ca. If you are in crisis, call the Distress Centre at (403) 1-800-784-2433 12-11
