By the Way: Counting to 40

By Rev. Dr. Nancy Cocks on February 29, 2020.

Last Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent. In some Christian traditions, Lent is a time to give something up. Usually something enjoyable, so one experiences a bit of self-denial for the season approaching the Cross. We reflect on what Jesus has given up for humankind. Mind you, I remember the year I gave up parsnips for Lent. My colleagues in Scotland protested. “Nancy, you don’t even like parsnips!” True. The real spiritual discipline would begin at Easter, I argued, when I’d have to eat them again without protest.

As I reflected on what my spiritual discipline might be this year, I realized I’ve been angry a lot lately. I can barely listen to the news without wanting to throw the radio across the room. The premier. The prime minister. The U.S. president. Ideologues of every stripe. They all make me start to steam. So I thought, perhaps, I should give up anger for Lent. Good for my blood pressure and for my lunch companions.

When I taught in seminary, I offered a course called “Anger, Conflict and Reconciliation,” knowing from pastoral experience that church leaders need skills to address these human dynamics. Course preparation taught me that the notion that “venting anger” was good for the soul had been proven wrong. Expressing anger like a volcano lets its steam fly, in fact, increases the emotional lava flow. Venting anger invites deeper anger to erupt and can encourage violent outbursts. “Counting to ten” when you’re angry was seen by researchers to be a helpful practice to get tempers under control, giving time for more measured responses than flinging a hot coal at someone.

So this Lent I resolve to count to 40 whenever I feel my temper rising, one count for every day in Lent. Imagine what we could do in those 40 seconds. We could listen to our adversaries and try to hear their reasoning, rather than our own emotions. We could think through why we disagree, rather than slamming the door. Formulate a sentence rather than hurl an insult. Road rage might become a thing of the past!

Jesus has warned us against anger, seeing its deadly potential. (Matt.5.22) The Letter to the Ephesians advises, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” but use words to give grace rather than harm. In this fractious time, when politicians and protestors only seem to vent anger, may I invite you to join me in counting to 40 this Lent? Every time your heart is enflamed by something you see or hear, take a deep breath, or two or three. Reflect before you react. And may the peace of Christ that surpasses all understanding be with us all.

Rev. Dr. Nancy Cocks is a retired professor and Presbyterian Minister.

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