All Psyched Up: Am I good enough?
By Dr. Linda Hancock on January 10, 2020.
office@drlindahancock.com Whitney Houston co-starred with Kevin Costner in the 1992 movie “The Bodyguard.” The film was a worldwide hit grossing $411 million. It was Houston’s acting debut and the soundtrack was amazing. One song, “I Will Always Love You” sold 20 million units. Kevin Costner was a speaker at Houston’s funeral. He told about how despite her singing excellence she would come to him after filming each day and ask, “Was I good enough?” This surprised him and he would assure her that she had done a good job. At the funeral he again said “Whitney, you were good enough.” This weekend I watched a CNN special documentary entitled “Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of my Voice.” This program described the life of Ronstadt who was a singer, songwriter, record producer, actor and activist. She first hit the charts when she was only 21 years of age. Over the years, she provided diversification for the audiences with rock, pop, folk, light opera country and Latin genres. Her awards include Grammys, Lifetime Achievements from numerous organizations as well as being inducted onto the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Despite these accolades, words that she used during her narration for the CNN documentary revealed the fact that she didn’t think she was good enough. These two artists have had recognition from the world who laud them as outstanding entertainers but inside each of them felt that they never measured up. They were constantly striving to meet expectations that they set for themselves. The expectations, however, were so high that they prevented them from feeling satisfied with their work. Often individuals in other walks of life do the same thing to themselves. They are appreciated and respected by observers but are never able to grasp the fact that they have made good choices that led to positive impact. There are many areas in life where we rate ourselves – perhaps unfairly. But it really doesn’t take much to reach a level where you are “good enough.” Only one person in one hundred throughout the world has a degree. Excellent parenting can be a rare find. Loyalty to the employer and company policy is often missing. Financial responsibility a common occurrence in individuals, organizations and governments. Even respect for the law and adoption of ethical practices cannot be expected from everyone. Kindness, inspiration and encouragement are also traits that do not occur often enough for everyone in society to benefit. Money and fame are not good measures for determining if you are good enough. Those who have both of these often find that they still question their value and performance. Good enough usually means that you recognize the efforts you have made and determine to do your best in the future. You definitely don’t need to be “the best.” Just “your best.” And if you do this and find that you have not met your own expectations, perhaps it is time to examine your expectations to determine if they are realistic. Perhaps you need to learn some skills to improve for the next time. Maybe you need to just recognize that effort is better than shutting down. I find that those who keep asking “Am I good enough” are usually looking for someone to validate them. Good luck with that! There are seven billion people in the world and asking for opinions from others will likely result in several dozen different replies. Much better to just have realistic expectations for yourself! No matter what you have said, done or heard just start this New Year with the idea that you are “good enough.” Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com 14-13
