Viva Vitality: Sport parents need a timeout sometimes

By Laura Lukye on November 8, 2019.

Many kids look forward to joining a sports team and are excited for what being on a team can bring such as friendships, accomplishments and challenges. The No. 1 reason kids play sport is to have fun. But for parents, have you ever felt too much pressure when you sign your child up for that team? Do you worry they don’t have the best equipment or they didn’t attend enough summer training camps? When did parenting children in sport become so stressful?

Here are some tips on how to be Great Sport Parents:

1. Take some time for you. You need a purpose and activities of your own. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to re-charge. I have heard too many times the “mom guilt” set in and it prevented them from taking advantage of “me time.” The more you fill yourself up, the more you have to give.

2. Be a positive role model. Your behaviour should mimic your family, work and community values. Be an encouraging parent and don’t talk badly about opponents, referees, teammates or coaches. Be the example in the stands. Be the fan your child would want you to be. Praise your child so it’s helpful and not harmful.

3. Celebrate success in different ways. Winning doesn’t always mean success. Building an athlete takes more than that. In Indigenous sporting tradition, the winning team would present the trophy to the team that gave them the most competition. Rewarding that team for making them better competitors and building their success. We as parents need to focus on that and not just what the scoreboard shows. Effort should be celebrated regardless of the end result.

4. Treat coaches with respect. Most coaches in minor sports are volunteers. You and the coach want the same thing for your child and that is for them to succeed and have fun. Understand the coach’s values and their game plan. Take a step back and let them coach. Working with the coach actually gives the best chance of success in your child.

5. Last and the most important is to love watching your child play. This moment in your life will fly by, so take time to enjoy it. “Let your child know how much you love watching them play. These simple words change everything for your child, because they understand your love for them doesn’t depend on whether they win or lose or how they perform that day” (John O’Sullivan, Changing the game project).

Let’s all take a deep breath and let the kids do what they set out to do and that was to have fun. If you want more information on Changing the Game project go to changingthegameproject.com

Laura Lukye is a health promotion facilitator with Alberta Health Services, and can be reached at laura.lukye@ahs.ca