All Psyched Up: Ideas that don’t work well
By Medicine Hat News on January 4, 2019.
Sometimes we delude ourselves into thinking that our ideas will lead to happiness and success. There is a popular expression that states, “Insanity is when you do the same things over and over again expecting a different result.” If you want different results, you need to do things differently and that begins with thinking differently. Here are some of the concepts that might be holding you back from feeling and doing better: 1. People will change because they love me — The sad news is that people do not change until life doesn’t work for them anymore. It is not about you or how much they love you. They continue making bad choices even if they are ruining their health and future until they get to the point that they are prepared to do the hard things that will get them out of their pain. 2. Rules are made to be broken — Rules and laws are made not just to protect society but also to protect the one who is tempted to break the rules. They are guidelines that offer safety for everyone. 3. It is someone else’s fault that I am unhappy — Happiness is a choice. You cannot change other people or their behaviours and it certainly doesn’t help to assess blame for your upset or low mood on others. Over the years, I have had many clients who have gone through horrible experiences yet smile and adopt a state of contentment. Others have more blessings than they can count and are miserable. It is about choice. 4. My way is the right way — There are many ways to “skin a cat.” Just because you have a plan doesn’t mean that it will work for everyone else. 5. If I just wish hard enough things will get better — Change requires action. It takes time and energy to make positive change. 6. Avoiding trouble is a good solution — If you aren’t opening your mail, paying your bills or filing your income tax, you will face extra interest and penalties as well as stress. It is a good idea to avoid spending time with people who make poor choices but avoiding things that you are responsible for will only bring grief in the future. 7. The world is a mess and I need to be “in the know” — You only have one vote when it comes time to vote. Your influence is limited regarding society and world events. Turn off the television and stop letting the media ruin your day with stories of gloom and destruction that you can’t fix. 8. I am responsible for my adult children — When your son or daughter reaches the age of majority they are classed as adults. Privacy policies prevent you from accessing information about them from health or justice services. Just because you have parented your child doesn’t mean that you have to bail them out of troubles they have created for themselves. And remember, worry doesn’t help. In fact, worry only deteriorates your well-being. 9. Other people should look after me — We are never disappointed unless we have expectations. If you are thinking that your government or family will take care of you, you may very well be very disappointed. It is your responsibility to take care of your own health, residence and financial situation. 10. I have lots of time — Procrastination is an enemy. It is too late to make good money choices and stop overspending when you are in bankruptcy. Waiting until you are hospitalized to think about losing weight, exercising and making healthy intake decisions is more difficult than beginning before your body is compromised. Entering a new year is an excellent time to examine the ideas and values you hold. In fact, today is the very best time to challenge them and make a firm commitment to start on a different path. Happy New Year, everyone! Dr. Linda Hancock (www.LindaHancock.com) is the author of “Life is an adventureÉevery step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat, Alberta Canada. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com 16-15
