Learning to live by the way of Love
By Medicine Hat News on October 28, 2017.
As I reflect on living by the way of Love, I think of the definitive statement that the ancient sage, Jesus of Nazareth, gives on living life rightly: “Love God and Love your neighbour as yourself.” That great first century lover of humanity and articulator of the way of Love, Paul, gives us the logic behind this comprehensive claim: “Love fulfills the law,” he says, “since love does no harm to another.” This is straightforward in itself but does not give us sufficient guidance without reflecting on the concept of harm. To harm is to injure, damage or hurt someone. If we take this as a categorical limit to our actions, then we would have to conclude that a parent is unloving when they discipline, or a doctor is unloving when they give a needle, operate, or administer other intrusive treatments. Let’s think about this for a moment. We need to allow that a temporary, provisional or secondary hurt can be loving since it aims for a greater, longer term, primary good. This is, after all, the hope and goal of both parental discipline and medical treatment. If this is true, then in this instance, to not hurt is to not love, since by failing to provide the necessary provisional harm, one has invited a greater harm. In fact, we can see that the failure to provide a discomfiting remedy, instead of being loving, is self-serving. If, for instance, a doctor does not tell a terminally ill individual that they are going to die, he or she does so, ostensibly, to “save the person” from the harm that such a diagnosis would bring. It seems to me, however, that this is primarily a self-serving action, since the doctor is spared the discomfort and awkwardness that dealing with the pain, disappointment and anxiety that their diagnosis would bring. Instead of being a loving action, that does no harm, this choice brings great harm: The individual is denied the dignity of coming to terms with his/her death, is not allowed to say goodbye to loved ones, and is denied the basic respect of having the courage, maturity, and character to respond to this most recent life challenge. In a like manner, if we are to take our guidance from the ancient path of Love, we realize that we must “speak the Truth in Love.” As in the cases of medical or parental practices, we too can be unloving (and self-serving) by failing to provide the short term discomfort that the truth brings in service of a greater good. I suspect the great enervator of our day (the reason we lose the nerve to love in this manner) is that we feel such statements are judgmental, and we do not feel qualified to judge others. This is a good caution, and statements, even if they are true, given for judgmental motives can not be loving. If, however, we are motivated by love for others, an awareness of our own lack is not a sufficient reason to not speak the truth in love. A doctor with an illness should still diagnose illness in his/her patient. Or we could ask, since I am to love “as I love myself,” how would I like to be treated? Or, how would I treat myself? And, I think we would arrive at the same conclusion. If you have ever benefited from a coach, teacher or friend who helped point out what was keeping you from achieving your potential, then you know you need to provide the same “opportunities” to others. Rev. Oz Lorentzen is from St. Barnabas Anglican Church. 6-5
