By the Way: What is our ‘bad habit’ trying to teach us?

By Oz Lorentzen on January 10, 2026.

I’ve been thinking about New Year’s resolutions, you know, when you promise to change some bad habit. And, about the predictability of failing in these resolutions. I think one reason we break our resolutions is that we have not learned, yet, the lesson that our bad habit is “trying” to teach us.

The fact, for instance, that I am chronically late says something about me. What it says about me may be important for me to realize, understand, and accept.

If so, I will not be able to fully eradicate my tardiness until I have understood this important thing. (Of course if I conquer being late something else will help me learn what I need to – in the mercifulness of Life, important lessons are learned in multiple ways.)

Here is a thought, then. Instead of resolving to do away with your bad habits in 2026 intend to befriend them, take them out for coffee and a long talk (probably several times!) and listen to them, get to know them and hear what they have to teach you. In most cases you will gain some real insight into how you see yourself, how you see the world and how you interact with the world. You will discover some truth.

Consequently, this insight has the potential to be extremely important, and lead to significant change. And potentially will resolve the issue of the “bad habit” without making a resolution.

A successful resolution, on the other hand, runs the risk of more fully entrenching us in our current understandings of the self and world – which is never perfectly true for any of us.

And we will prove once again that ancient wisdom about the importance of knowing the truth and having the truth set us free.

Oz Lorentzen is the pastor at St. Barnabas Anglican Church

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