All Psyched Up: Perspective

By Linda Hancock on October 18, 2025.

My daughter and I went to England a few years ago and we were typical tourists visiting all the places that we had dreamed about for years. One day we decided to take a tour on one of the red double-decker bus. We climbed the stairs and positioned ourselves on the top level so that we would have a good view of the city. It was so interesting to pass by famous sites.

Then, because we had time and had already paid our fare, we decided to go around again, only this time on the lower level. What a difference! London was not the same from that perspective. We were then able to focus on storefronts, people on the sidewalks and other things that just weren’t easily viewed from the top level on our first trip.

Do you ever wonder why people make what you think are stupid mistakes? To you, some things are just common sense. It is frustrating to think that the other person doesn’t see them the same way you do.

Often, I use a diet coke can to show others how important it is to consider another person’s perspective. I hold up the can with the name facing the client and ask them to tell me what is written on the side that faces me. When they state that the can likely has a list of the ingredients, I ask them to tell me exactly what is written on the can. Of course, the usual reply is that they don’t know what my side of the can says.

Then, as part of the lesson, I become more insistent but being demanding I am able to show that my angst really doesn’t help the other person to come up with the answer I am requesting. In fact, it just makes both of us more anxious and frustrated.

There are many reasons why other people don’t see things the same way we do.

1. Different life experiences – Each of us has a unique history with a past that has helped us to adopt values, skills, and perspectives.

2. Culture – Different environments, traditions and people, shape who we are and how we approach life.

3. Lack of information – If you don’t have all the facts, you likely won’t come to the same conclusions as someone who does have them.

4. Apathy – Some people don’t care about the same things that we think are important.

5. Personal preferences – When we think that doing something will benefit us, we might not consider how it will affect other people. Often, we default to “What’s in it for me?”

6. Emotions – fear, anxiety, and trauma symptoms will often cause individuals to shut down or make different choices than those who are open-minded and brave.

7. Age – We often view things with different lenses based on the stage of life we are in.

8. Finances – The amount of funding we have can greatly increase or decrease our options and perspectives.

9. Attitude – It can be easy to reject the ideas of other people just because we want to do that. Rebellion can range from passive to aggressive.

10. Influence – I once heard a speaker state that we are the people we hang out with, the books we read and the things we watch. Think about who influences you and the other people in your life.

So, when someone doesn’t see your perspective, do you get frustrated and demanding, or do you just realize that they are on a different level of the tour bus or opposite side of the pop can?

It will probably be easier for both of you if you just keep calm, offer facts as well as your opinion and then let the other person make their own decisions (or mistakes).

It’s all about perspective – yours and theirs!

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Calgary. She can be reached by email at office@drlindahancock.com

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