All Psyched Up: Discouragement

By Linda Hancock on August 9, 2025.

More than a year after I fell approximately 40 feet headfirst down the escalator at the Calgary Airport I was referred to an optometry clinic for brain re-wiring. When they initially called to set up appointments, I was shocked to learn that I had been diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury.

No one had used those words to that point, and it really rattled me. You see, after years of working with veterans, many of whom have traumatic brain injuries, I was knowledgeable but had never, ever imagined that I would suffer with the same diagnosis.

For months treatment had been focused on my physical symptoms. My doctor stated that my injuries were severe, and the complexity was that I had them throughout my body but not one person had uttered the words traumatic brain injury.

So, I completed the initial testing and assessment at the specialist clinic and began the recommended 20-24-week re-training appointments. A kind neighbour offered to help me with the homework which included exercises every single day for almost an hour.

It is now week eight and I am not really noticing any improvement. My neighbour also seems to be puzzled and discouraged. The vision therapist just keeps telling me that it will take time and every single patient they have treated has not only healed but also has not experienced any regression.

My daughter often says, “When you are sitting in a mud puddle, everything looks like mud!” That’s how this feels!

I keep trying to encourage myself by stating that I am only about a third of the way through the recommended treatments but that didn’t seem to raise my spirits to the level that I desired.

Then a friend innocently told me a story that gave me a totally new perspective. She explained to me about how discouraged she has been trying to learn how to make a proper pickleball serve. She said, “I bet I tried fifty times and just couldn’t get it to work but I am going to keep trying.” She actually went to one of the scheduled gym times and didn’t do anything but focus on the serve over and over again.

Then I thought about my twenty-five-year-old grandson who is a body builder. Every single day, he comes home from work, changes clothing and heads to the gym before even eating.

He announces, “It’s legs day,” (which apparently is the most difficult for him). Andrew has been doing this for several years and frankly, his body is as hard as a rock. He often walks around without a shirt just because he is a “show off.”

In order to humble him I reach up to touch his shoulder and ask, “Awwww. Does it hurt?” And he plays along by saying with a big smile, “Yes, grandma it hurts.”

Then I tell him that I know a doctor who could probably give him an anti-inflammatory to reduce the swelling. There isn’t any swelling – it is solid muscle. Andrew loves going to the gym and telling others about our little banter. He works hard and then laughs at his success.

So, today I go back to the vision therapist and will tell her (again) how I am not seeing much progress and she will tell me (again) that it takes time to heal.

Are you going through discouragement at this time? I know that I can only focus on what is in my control, so I attend appointments and do the exercises assigned. What do you have control over that you can do to deal with a problem? Appropriate efforts are usually rewarded.

Do you have stories or mentors that will encourage you? Think of someone who has been in a worse situation and how that person was hopeful and inspiring.

Discouragement happens to all of us at times, but it doesn’t have to last. I keep thinking about the wise words of Juno nominee Kate Hammett-Vaughan who once told me “We are never disappointed unless we have expectations”. Perhaps it is time to examine whether your expectations are realistic.

Have a great week of chasing and finding encouragement.

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Calgary. She can be reached by email at office@drlindahancock.com

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