All Psyched Up: Healing after hurt

By Linda Hancock on June 7, 2025.

There are two important things to ask yourself after you have experienced a loss or traumatic event:

Firstly, have there been significant changes in my life because of this (sleeping too much or too little, eating too much or too little, not participating in activities that I used to enjoy)?

Secondly, are there vulnerable areas of my life that have gotten worse since this occurred (substance abuse, relationship problems, work issues)?

Self-care is the best way to deal with the issues! Following are twenty things healthy choices you can make right now:

1. Give yourself time and permission to grieve.

2. Ask questions of others who were involved and professionals to gain information that will help you to make sense out of things.

3. Eat on a regular basis – even if it is smaller quantities of nutritious foods.

4. Drink at least eight glasses of water every day – measure out the day’s allotment in the morning.

5. Limit your caffeine and alcohol intake.

6. Rest – even if you cannot go to sleep right away.

7. Make sure your self-talk is about what you want – not what you don’t want.

8. Attend as many of your scheduled activities as possible – don’t isolate yourself.

9. Take care and be safe. Focus on what you are doing.

10. Plan some fun things to do with people who love you.

11. Make sure that you have your regular medical and dental checkups.

12. Be honest with your supervisor, boss and partner if you feel you cannot cope – hiding things won’t work anyway and you might have benefits that will give you a little time off to recover.

13. Schedule some time alone. Being lost in too many activities will not lead to resolution.

14. Let go of any past issues that you cannot change.

15. Remember your priorities (family, work, etc.)

16. Avoid making any major life changes.

17. Allow others to deal with this in their own way unless they seriously need help. You do not need to be their caregiver or therapist.

18. Give thanks. If you think hard enough you will uncover blessings.

19. Talk about what is bothering you – keeping it inside will fester or cause a blow one day.

20. Access resources (Use your Employee Assistance Plan, private insurance or company personnel to help you find a competent therapist).

No one can “fix” you. Be kind to yourself as only you can know what you need and when you need it!

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Calgary. She can be reached by email at office@drlindahancock.com

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