All Psyched Up: Secrets

By Linda Hancock on December 7, 2024.

In Poor Richard’s Almanack Ben Franklin is quoted as saying: “Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”

My grandson Justin used to beg me not to tell him in advance about gifts or surprises I had planned for him. He always would say, “I love to be surprised,” but this isn’t the case with everyone or every situation.

There are many things to consider when it comes to secrets:

1. The one wanting to keep a secret might be up to no good. Secrets are often formed to hide sins, affairs, and bad judgement.

2. Keeping secrets can steal freedom, cause illness and destroy relationships.

3. Sometimes people keep secrets to protect others only to find out later that this wasn’t a good idea.

4. There are good secrets too – those that offer blessings to others who didn’t expect them!

5. Each of us has a secret place where we can go to meditate, pray, and problem-solve before taking action.

6. Those who do not know about secret things might make decisions that are faulty or dangerous as they don’t have all the information necessary.

7. Those who know the secret might not be trustworthy. In fact, they might turn the information into gossip!

8. Many appear to be noble by sharing secrets as prayer requests instead of keeping them private.

9. When a secret is revealed, it might bring shock, hurt or negative responses from those who hear it.

10. Trust is earned and can be destroyed in a matter of seconds when one learns about a secret that was held.

11. Secrets can be time-limited. A fellow professional who works in the area of addictions shared his wisdom with me: “In time, all will be revealed”.

12. Exposing your secrets in a safe and caring environment can lead to healing.

What secrets have you held in the past? And what ones do you now hold?

Are there people who you believe will keep all of your secrets to death? Do you trust your family physician, priest or therapist? Perhaps your spouse or friend can provide you with a safe place for secrets? Or can they?

I once heard a pastor state that if you have a secret, you should go out into the desert and tell it to a big jackrabbit. Then kill the rabbit because even in the Bible, some animals could talk.

Do you think that keeping them will result in blessings or injury?

Maybe it is time to re-think the whole idea of having secrets.

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Calgary. She can be reached by email at office@drlindahancock.com

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