Miywasin Moment: Rhymes heal the hurt for Cross

By JoLynn Parenteau on October 13, 2021.

Josh Cross wields a mighty pen. The local poet and rapper, 24, has been writing for a decade. Now he’s sharing his message that hope and change are possible.

With Cree heritage on his father’s side, Cross was raised in Edmonton by his single mother. In 2018, he moved south to pursue a social work degree at Medicine Hat College, and recently earned his diploma. Cross has a goal of one day offering art and play therapy for Indigenous youth.

As a teenager, out-of-the-box counselling methods like art therapy helped Cross challenge stereotypes he felt were posed upon him by both urban and tribal societies.

“I want to change the toxic cycles that exist within the Indigenous community,” explains Cross. “As someone growing up with mixed heritage, the struggles have been immense. Indigenous social workers are needed.”

In junior high, Cross began writing poetry after discovering Winnipeg rapper Fresh I.E.

“He’s half-Black, half-Indigenous and speaks about Indigenous and Black issues,” Cross remembers. “I thought, ‘Wow, that was powerful. If he can talk about his life, maybe I can do that.’

“That’s where my writing started. I realized rap can have a message.”

His rhymes are gritty, honest and provocative. Much of Cross’s writing reflects the raw realities Indigenous people face when confronted with racism, poverty, violence and addiction.

Of his own experiences, Cross says it’s hard to rise above.

“It’s easy to fall into the path of the victim, blaming everyone for your problems. I used to be down that path, and it didn’t just hurt me, it hurt others. I never let anyone in, I always pushed everyone out. I isolated, got into addictions, and that didn’t help matters. Then I realized I have to do something about this.”

His writing is his therapy now.

“I couldn’t speak outwardly before. I was afraid that my voice didn’t matter, or if I said anything, no one would listen.”

People are listening now. Cross began performing for audiences first in high school, then at slam poetry nights. In a presentation on intergenerational trauma to his college class, Cross included a rap performance.

“I talked about a lot of issues,” he says. “There’s so much to unpack.”

Through practicum work with Medicine Hat College’s Indigenous Support office, Cross connected with the youth program at Miywasin Friendship Centre.

In 2019, Miywasin invited Cross to perform at the Esplanade for the annual Journey Towards Healing and Reconciliation Conference. In August of this year, with his face painted the black, white, red and yellow colours of the Medicine Wheel, Cross performed under his rap pseudonym ‘Classy J’ for an audience in Kin Coulee park for International Youth Day.

“There’s me, and then Classy J is more confident, more willing to speak out. Whereas a part of me is afraid to do that,” explains Cross. “I can put on this persona where I can be more out there.”

Cross streams his collected works as Classy J for free on SoundCloud at https://soundcloud.com/classyj64.

Excerpts from ‘Crazy Braided Brain’

Got a sense of anguish,

as I don’t even know my own people’s Language…

It doesn’t matter if it’s past, present or future violence,

I think it’s about time to end the silence!…

Trying in vain to wash away my shame,

but the colour of my skin just won’t go away,

oh what a shame!

Cross hopes his message will reach youth who struggle with mental health and systemic barriers.

“I had to work on my own self-worth, then get to a point where I can help others,” he says. “Everything in your life can either keep you stuck, or you can use it as a booster to go over those barriers.

“Having a good support group is necessary, especially if you are struggling. Get the help, find someone you trust to speak to. Don’t give up on yourself. Know that you are loved. You do have power. Don’t let other people tell you who you are. Tell yourself who you are.”

JoLynn Parenteau is a Métis writer out of Miywasin Friendship Centre. Column feedback can be sent to jolynn.parenteau@gmail.com

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