All Psyched Up: Making emotional choices
By Dr. Linda Hancock on October 25, 2019.
office@drlindahancock.com Have you ever watched those television shows where individuals give up their lives to move to another country to be with a person they met online? They do all this in the name of love. I have been thinking about some of the story lines and the common themes that lead them into bad situations. Many of the choices they make are ones that cause problems even for those who never leave their home country but end up in trouble: 1. Thinking that the unknown will make all their dreams come true. If you haven’t done good research, you really don’t know what the future offers. Wisdom means that you have a plan and take your time examining all the factors that might interfere with success. 2. Believing others who make promises to you. The internet means that you can have Halloween every day! People often create identities that are deceiving because they think that you won’t be attracted to them if you know the truth. Even in everyday life, it is amazing to think about how many people will lie to you or make unfounded claims about things that might never happen the way that they are described. 3. Entering a culture that you do not know or understand. It might seem to be an exciting adventure to move into a new country or area but unless you understand the laws, habits and traditions before you go there, you might get a very rude awakening. I have a French teacher who decided to move from Germany to Austria recently. He has had great difficulties trying to do this because he didn’t realize that one of the German laws states he cannot sell his condo for 10 years! He certainly didn’t know that when he purchased it! 4. Ignoring advice that your loved ones offer. Those who care about you might be able to see dangers that your emotional state blocks out. When someone asks you questions or warns you about entering into a new situation make sure that you think twice before proceeding. They usually are not trying to prevent you from experiencing happiness but are just seeing signs that are troubling. 5. Giving up the secure life. Life can be boring at times but putting one foot in front of the other will usually give you a sure path to contentment as you age. There is a reason why banks offer 25-year mortgages. Employment usually offers cost of living raises as well as promotion opportunities. Giving all this up with the hope of having quick riches could lead to disappointment. 6. Trusting that others love you enough to take care of you. Unfortunately, people are quite self-centred. We tend to do things that benefit our own lives and there is absolutely no guarantee that you will be looked after by another person. Healthy relationships offer mutual support and endeavor to ensure that the needs of the other person are met. Unfortunately, when tough times arrive, it can be “everyone for himself.” You can be the most lovable person in the world and find yourself alone! 7. Expecting family and friends to pick up the pieces. Once you find that you are in trouble it is important to remember that you got yourself into it and will need to get yourself out of it. I am always amazed when I hear individuals being upset because they think that the very people who warned them to be careful are not always willing to come up with solutions for those who ignored and abandoned them. When you are tempted to give up your family, income and life in order to pursue a dream, make sure that you have not only done adequate research about what you are facing but also to consider the consequences of your actions should things not turn out as you have planned. It’s all about making good, healthy choices and not just impulsive, emotional ones! Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com 14-13
