Let’s Chat: Having difficult conversations

By LINDA TOOTH on July 5, 2023.

This past semester I had the unique opportunity to teach a course on death and dying.

Many of the students taking the classes are in a helping profession program (paramedics, nurses, social work, etc.). This course and the communication it generated is critical for those who will be dealing with life-and-death situations daily.

I do not have a doctorate or a psychology background, instead I have a communications background and lived experience dealing with the concept of dying and the event of death.

I will always remember the day the emergency room doctor at the Medicine Hat Hospital told my dad he had lung cancer. We had just returned home from my uncle’s funeral in Edmonton. He had lived for over a year with cancer and sadly lost his fight. Now we were facing the same battle.

This forced us to start having difficult conversations as a family.

We chose a funeral director that my youngest brother went to school with, and my cousin played hockey with.

We needed to have a connection with someone to help us through this difficult time. They came to the house and helped us complete the paperwork necessary to ensure my parent’s wishes were met regarding cremation, funeral services, etc.

An Enduring Power of Attorney, a Personal Directive and an updated Will helped us legally navigate a sad time that we all will face.

I chose to teach the course of Death and Dying through a lens of someone who has lived experience and through a cultural awareness lens. How do other cultures acknowledge those that are dying and what does the funeral look like for those from other cultures. First, I arranged a funeral home tour over two nights to accommodate 90 students. This tour took place with the same funeral director who helped my family. We toured the embalming room, casket and urn room, and the crematorium. Next, we looked at cultures and how they deal with the process of dying and the event of death.

Some of the comments I received from students were “I feel this class has provided me with skills that will be useful in my career, as well as life in general” and “I left this tour with way more knowledge than what I went in with! An amazing way to learn.”

One student wrote “Different cultures view death and dying in their own unique way, and it is important to respect that and hold no judgement.”

I encourage everyone to start having conversations with family members about what they want for medical care and funeral arrangements. It helps make a sad time more bearable.

Linda Tooth is a communications instructor at Medicine Hat College

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