All Psyched Up: Like or love?

By Linda Hancock on February 15, 2025.

Many years ago, I was teaching an adult Sunday School class in a large church. One of the older members reported me to the Pastor because I had made a comment about how I loved my sister but didn’t always like her. The wise Pastor came to talk with me about it. He said that he explained to the lady that like is emotional and love is spiritual. Whew! Saved!

We are approaching Valentine’s Day and this story reminded me about how messed up we can be when it comes to how we feel about other people.

Marketing gurus would like us to believe that this one day of the year is worthy of spending our hard-earned money on flowers, candy or other gifts to prove to someone that we really care.

In China, I am told, the women sit by the window waiting for the florist to make a delivery of 11 roses. Apparently, they do not send a full dozen because the recipient is supposed to be the twelfth rose!

Children often make or share cards with fellow students, and I have been in high schools that sell singing telegrams, lollipops and other items on Valentine’s Day as fundraisers.

Yes, Feb. 14 is often a day filled with red hearts, flowers, fancy dinners and words of love.

But what happens to the other 364 days in the year or to the ones who do not receive any special honours during the special day? Are we setting ourselves up for unrealistic expectations, dashed hopes and depression?

Out of curiosity I did an internet search for “types of love” and was surprised to find a list of 24! No wonder we get confused about how we feel!

Then I searched “liking someone” and found four types of attraction including physical, social, task and companionate.

It’s all about connection, which can be based on friendship, shared values and even eventually led to romantic feelings.

So, are you confused? Are you wondering what you are going to do on February 14th and who will be the recipient of your attention?

Perhaps the best thing to do is to fill your pockets with sweet treats or pretty stickers and just pass them to everyone in your path!

Also remember that a big smile and the simple phrase “I appreciate you” will go a long way to making someone feel special.

Oh dear! Now we need to do an internet search for the word appreciate!

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! (whatever that means to you).

Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Calgary. She can be reached by email at office@drlindahancock.com

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