All Psyched Up: Family reunions
By Linda Hancock on August 5, 2023.
Last evening, I flew home from a family reunion that was held in Regina, Saskatchewan. Participants arrived from Hawaii, California, British Columbia, Saskatchewan, Ontario, and New Brunswick. It was interesting to meet with relatives, many of whom I hadn’t seen for more than a decade. While in the city I also enjoyed a luncheon with my cousin and husband from the other side of the family. Many people dread or avoid going to family gatherings because of past hurts or difficult relationships. This year, think about the following before you decide not to attend your family gathering: 1. Age – Yes, we are all getting older, and we never know who we might never see again. Don’t live with regrets. Go to the reunion knowing that opportunities become limited as time passes. 2. Attitude – Some people never change and will always be the bossy or negative person that you have always known them to be. It is important that your attitude, however, is positive so that you can enjoy yourself and influence others. 3. Boundaries – Choose how you will invest your time when you are there. Don’t allow yourself to be dragged into toxic conversations or situations that are uncomfortable for you. 4. Travel – Research costs and time investments required to make it easiest on yourself. Just because you have always arrived in a certain manner doesn’t mean that you need to do things the same way this time. 5. Time – I like to arrive before events begin and leave the day after they have ended. This gives me time to settle into the gathering location or hotel in preparation and rest before leaving for home. 6. Plan – Always have an “escape plan” so that you can take a break or leave early if things aren’t working out the way that you had hoped. 7. Watch your manners – Because you haven’t seen some people for awhile might mean that you don’t know what is going on in their lives. They might be out of sorts because of a loss, ill health, or other stressors. Do your best to treat everyone with respect and kindness. In time all will be revealed! 8. Build memories – Take the photos that you will treasure in the future. Share fun stories of the past with the younger generations who attend. Encourage and inspire as much as possible. 9. Give thanks – Tell family members how they helped you in the past. They might be surprised to know that their actions positively influenced you. A few words of gratitude for those who arranged the gathering will also be welcomed. 10. Forgive – We are all human and it is easy to be offended by someone who uttered some negative words, told an inappropriate story or did something that was hurtful. Focus on the good things that happened and let the rest go. Oh, and remember to forgive yourself for things for which you might have regrets. When you are invited to a family reunion, I hope you will find the above tips helpful. Don’t avoid it. Just attend it with a good perspective and some wisdom. Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure… every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com 15-14
