Regulations don’t mean children in split families are isolated from either parent at Christmas and New Year’s

By Ryan Dahlman Prairie Post on December 24, 2020.

Holidays are a time of celebration for many but can also be a high cause of stress and angst within split families.

With all the COVID-19 regulations, there are a lot of misconceptions and conflicted reports about custody rules and visitation.

Legal Aid Alberta staff lawyer Jessica Chapman says the key aspect to remember is that while all regulations have to be adhered to, that doesn’t mean they can be used as an excuse for one parent to withhold visitation, or ignore a divorce settlement agreement over the Holidays.

“It is a more difficult question to answer this year because there are so many variables,” Chapman said. “Lots of times extended family can be a bit of a buffer between parents who are not getting along, but this year you can’t really have extended family involved.

“In terms of Christmases, it creates a lot of conflict every year. If people feel really strongly about the Holidays, people will find something to question or fight over.”

While this is all coming to light as Christmas has arrived, the legalities were studied earlier this year. Chapman says it all started being an issue when the first lockdown happened.

They had to figure out at that point what was going to happen with the pandemic itself and they also had to seek guidance from different courts.

Chapman notes the first related case was in Ontario where judges said that co-parenting arrangements need to continue in a pandemic.

“It is not something where children are going to be prevented from seeing their parents like they normally would. You can take extra safety precautions but you can’t cut off the time,” said Chapman. “Then other courts followed suit and so that means determining what to do about Christmas is a lot easier. It was also very helpful that the government and (Chief Medical Officer of Alberta) Dr. (Deena) Hinshaw pointed specifically that restrictions did not apply to co-parenting arrangements and so that was very helpful guidance for them to offer.

“When we say co-parenting we mean any type of sharing of time; you don’t have to hit 50-50 level to be considered co-parenting. If you have one afternoon a week with your child or every second weekend, that’s still a co-parenting arrangement where you are sharing the time and parenting the child.”

Not living in the same house can caused a lot of questions regarding the two sides or any new relationships to unfold since the parents split up. There has been conflict regarding whether the new people involved mean they are outsiders and make the pandemic rules override legal divorce agreements.

Chapman says this isn’t the case.

“Another big thing is that a lot of times when people break up they have new partners, and maybe their partners have kids from a previous relationships so people say, “Well, if it was just you it wouldn’t be a problem but because you have your partner…’

“But the reality is, your partner is a person in our household and any kids that are going back and forth are members of that household,” explained Chapman.

“When you separate as parents, your kids have two households and anyone who lives part of the time in each house is part of that household. So you can’t prevent people form going back and forth. They are still a family. It maybe not the family you envisioned but they are still a family.”

Health is a major concern and if there is a lot of extended family involved, then it is up to the two sides to come up with a solution.

“This is the time to be creative,” says Legal Aid Alberta staff lawyer Jeff Keller in a statement. “If you celebrate Christmas, the kids may not get two big Christmases this year, but you can still make it fun, even if grandma and grandpa can’t come.”

Keller recommends setting up video or phone calls with extended family on your parenting time so the kids can see everybody. It’s safer from a health perspective and also means “you don’t have to risk driving from house to house in winter conditions.”

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