Rock Ramblings: Canada the person would be polite, helpful, kind and generous

By Medicine Hat News on June 21, 2018.

Ahhhh, Canada. You’re so much more than crisp cold beer, Monopoly-esque money and CFL football. Wise enough to leave the metal shoes and copper belt at home when dealing with airport security while traveling outside our nation, I’d rather spend my vacation days exploring the planet’s second largest country, namely yours and mine.

If this land could speak I’d like to think this nation, built from the beaver trade, would be patriotic enough to wear a maple leaf in the form of a tattoo but still humble enough to hide it with a thorough layer of flannel plaid. It’s this Canadian stereotype I’m proud to acknowledge.

If Canada were a person, I’d like to think they’d stop for strangers broken down on the side of the highway, trusting in those they don’t know until you give them a reason not to. Canada would lend you their lawn mower if you needed one but would also expect you to return the favour with a cold wobbly pop. Mr./Ms. O. Canada has no qualms of not taking life too seriously because to quote a little bit of Trooper (Canadian, by the way), we’re here for a good time, not a long time. The person formerly known as Canada would be the first to make fun of itself but the last to mock others. Like the four seasons we’re so fortunate to experience, Canada the human would be a Jack-Of-All-Trades, comfortable enough to camp in the Rockies, able to enjoy some Atlantic lobster, log some hours in the ol’ threshing machine in Canada’s wheatbelt or spend an afternoon in front of the barbecue with friends, family and some AAA Alberta beef.

If Canada the person got into a fender bender, all parties involved would substitute apologies for blame and then offer to buy you a coffee while asking the “is it hot enough for ya?” inquiry. Canada the human being would laugh in the face of Old Man Winter and then remember they have no idea where they put their snowbrush. Conversely, no amount of Muskoil and Deep Woods Off would hinder our hate for mosquitoes but that still wouldn’t deter us from spending an afternoon in a beer garden even if it was situated in a lake of mosquito larvae infested pool of standing water. Canada the person understands that compassion and empathy are qualities to be nurtured, not signs of weakness.

Canada, Happy 151st and if you ever need a place to crash for a while, it’d be an honour to give you a key for my door, a blanket for the bed and a breakfast of bacon and eggs. (You do like ’em sunny side up, right?)

And now if you’ll excuse me I have maple trees to tap, beaver tails to eat and a lumberjack jacket to don because that wood won’t chop itself.

You can hear Poncho weekday mornings from 5:30-11 a.m. on 105.3 ROCK and 1053rock.ca