By Ticked Off - Tickled Pink on October 24, 2024.
Ticked Off That the editor tries to silence conservative voices and instead of treating TO/TP like the public forum it is, they put on their Gestapo hats and turn the forum into their own personal Tumblr thread. (Editor’s note: Which is made even worse when the conservative comments are always just so reasonable. The MHN Ticked Off section is run exactly like Nazi secret police. I mean, why don’t I print stuff like this??) Tickled Pink Own a musket for home defense, since that’s what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. “What the devil?” As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he’s dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it’s smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, “Tally ho lads” the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended. (Editor’s note: Sorry folks, I just can’t silence the people any further. You all deserve truth and balance and I have shamed you and my profession.) Ticked Off I’m beginning to think the editor is not actually Canadian, Given how much she was simping for Kazakhstan and how much she obviously hates Canada, If the editor could prove that she isn’t an illegal by printing a copy of her birth certificate in response to this, then all will be cleared and we will know for certain that you are Canadian Red not Communist Red. (Editor’s note: Seriously, if anyone else wants this job, come on down and take it off my hands. Also, it was Tajikistan, and it was a lesson in map reading, not politics, but I digress. Anyhoo, back to ‘What TO/TP would be like without a communist editor.’ Viewer discretion advised on the next one. Really sorry…) Ticked Off Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best! (Editor’s note: Y’all wanna keep going here, or can we stop the nonsense about how this column is edited? I promise you, with all that I could possibly swear upon, that I Do. Not. Care. About. What. You. Think. Or. How. You. Vote. I don’t know what else to tell you. Half the submissions to this column are legitimately insane. Outside that, you’re not getting in here with racism (beyond the trash above used to make a point), or bigotry of any kind, and yes, myself, or my colleagues when I’m away, get to decide what that is. You’re also judged on how rude you might be, or the specific wording being used. Another percentage are just way too long to run, and when I open the email I don’t even read the first sentence if I see too many words. If that’s you, quit it or keep writing into the ether, it makes zero difference to me. And lastly, as an example, there are just flat out more submissions critiquing Danielle Smith than are cheering her on. And it isn’t close. That is an automatic no matter who is in power. People complain a LOT more than they praise. Sue me. If I or anyone else wanted to push an agenda for or against anything, you would see columns and editorials written, not a strategic Ticked Off coverup plan. PS – I truly do apologize for the offensiveness of this particular submission, it’s here for the point and nothing else. Obviously, it is abhorrent. Anyway, the point is made I hope, back to regular programming…) Tickled Pink Thankful for the supportive environment which envelops the Veiner Centre. Curious why pickleball is causing damage to walls, this isn’t the Olympics. That the SPCA can’t do anything about neighbours miss treating their animals and letting them constantly get loose. Back in 2000 they used to. But not anymore. Needs to go back that way. (Editor’s note: I don’t know who did it in 2000 but I’m pretty sure you’re looking for Bylaw.) Ticked Off At the city engineering department for what they did to Division Avenue. Pickups and cars can’t turn onto or off Division because the corners are so narrow. Tickled Pink What a treat for kids and families attending the fun, educational and engaging Praxis Science Olympics at the MHC. Compliments to all, you did a great job! Tickled Pink With the first responders who attended an accident on Ross Glen Drive on Monday evening. Thank you all for your expertise, experience and professionalism. Hats off to our best! Ticked Off That the UCP are thinking about considering CO2 as a fundamental nutrient instead of a greenhouse gas partly responsible for global warming. Denial is ridiculous. Tickled Pink A big thank-you to Medicine Hat plumber who turned on my water in northwest Crescent Heights last night after a contractor had turned it off. City workers are the best. Ticked Off In some parts of the world people do not have access to vaccinations. We are lucky and privileged, fellow Canadians. So please, please do not throw that privilege away. Do the right thing for us all. Ticked Off Respect science. It is time to take back Alberta from Take Back Alberta. Ticked Off With people who think CO2 is a pollutant. Every time you breathe, you’re polluting? Come on. Ticked Off Gail Lawrence, have you ever lived beside wind turbines? The hundreds that are being built for energy production. I didn’t think so. Ticked Off Just wondering which plants and greenhouses are producing CO2? Tongue in cheek. (Editor’s note: There seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding with what climate scientists are specifically talking about when discussing CO2 emissions, but if I attempt to explain it now I’m gonna get called a Nazi again.) Tickled Pink People who think removing the carbon tax will make their groceries cheaper are hilarious. I think it’s far more likely that monopolistic grocery companies are going to keep squeezing us for every penny, but maybe that’s just me. Tickled Pink That Jim Groom and Gail Lawrence’s’ letters have shed light on the David Parker-led Take Back Alberta movement that is running Alberta’s government. Scary stuff if you take the time to research it. Ticked Off To the person saying if we get the Memorial Cup, the teams will be bored with a three-hour bus ride to Medicine Hat, insert face palm. These teams ride the bus a lot longer than three hours at times. 38