Noteworthy: Imagine the possibilities… (seriously though, let’s not)

By Bruce Penton on March 19, 2025.

So many things to consider if Canada does indeed bend to the threats of Donald Trump about annexation and our beloved country becomes the 51st U.S. state:

– Do we have to kill the beaver and adopt the bald eagle?

– Do we merge the titles of the two national anthems and come up with the Star Spangled O?

– Does Wayne Gretzky become Prime Minister or Governor General?

– Does our savings account automatically increase by 40 per cent in value?

– Will the NHL toss out Stanley and start playing for the Trump Cup?

– Will the Trans-Canada Highway become just another interstate?

– What becomes of all our beautiful provincial legislature buildings when we’ll need only one?

– Will we be expected to register as Republic, Democrat or Independent?

– Will packing a handgun become commonplace among Canadians?

– Will free library cards become a thing of the past?

– Do we have to abandon our beloved metric system and start using the goofy American system of weights and measures?

– And finally, will we become losers at hockey?

â€¢ Poor Pierre Poilievre. He must feel these days like Charlie Brown having the football pulled away by Lucy when he tries to kick a field goal. For the past year or so, with a federal election looming and the Conservatives riding high in the polls (mid- to high-40 percentages) and the Liberals weighed down by the extreme unpopularity of Justin Trudeau, it had seemed like a slam-dunk victory for Poilievre and his party. “Axe the tax” was his mantra and for sure, it was going to be a winning slogan.

Until Lucy came along and pulled the football away. Trudeau resigned, Mark Carney won the Liberal leadership and is expected to call an election this week for late May or early April.

And the ‘axe the tax’? Carney beat him to it, announcing on Day 1 of his prime ministership that he was cancelling the consumer portion of the carbon tax, perhaps resulting in a nice little drop in the price of a litre of gas for Canadians come April 1. No foolin’. The big emitters are still expected to be paying a price for carbon, which gives Poilievre a bit of room to demand a full axing of the industrial carbon levy. So PP’s ‘axe the tax’ may live to see another month or so of TV and radio commercials.

But this near-automatic election victory for the CPC is long gone, according to a variety of of polls we’ve seen lately. Some have the two main parties neck and neck. Some even have the Liberals slightly ahead, which is astonishing considering the status of the two parties just two months ago. A few polls have the Conservatives still with a healthy lead.

The only poll that matters, of course, is the one held on election day, when Canadians mark their ballots. But one thing is almost certain: Carney’s arrival on the scene has spoiled Poilievre’s automatic coronation.

â€¢ A movie called ‘Rebel With a Clause’ centres around a woman who travels the United States and gently advises strangers on correct grammar. It’s a wonder she doesn’t get punched in the nose. Proper grammar, spelling and punctuation are not important to most people, but members of my family are not ‘most people’ because we go out of our way to try to be correct. That’s what happens when you’ve got two media people and an English teacher among family members.

So I actually cringe when I hear somebody like Louie DeBrusk on an Oilers’ broadcast say some team is “giving up two or less goals per game.” (It should be ‘two or fewer’ because ‘fewer’ applies when something can actually be counted, eg: fewer cars on the road; less traffic.)

This whole subject reminds me of a T-shirt I saw the other day. It read: “Let’s eat Mom,” followed by “Let’s eat, Mom.” Below those two sentences was the comment: “Punctuation saves lives.”

â€¢ Short snappers: Debbie Downer of the week award goes to the person on Bluesky who blared: “We start losing light in 100 days!” … Medicine Hat Public Library is holding its annual book sale April 4 and 5 and will happily accept any gently-used fiction and non-fiction books, DVDs, CDs, magazines and board games for all ages that you might be able to donate. Donated items will be accepted until March 30. … Celebrity gossip note of the week: Tiger Woods and Vanessa Trump, the ex-wife of Donald Trump Jr., are reportedly a couple. … Gone, but probably not forgotten: First Eaton’s 25 years ago, and now the Hudson’s Bay Company. The two Canadian retail giants once dominated downtowns across the country and now, with Eaton’s already gone, The Bay may close all of its stores due to bankruptcy., … Gavin McKenna’s seven-point game last Saturday against Red Deer was certainly spectacular, but when he’s listing his goals for next year, he can make a notation about the one-game WHL record for points, 10, accomplished by five different players, including Tigers’ legend Tom Lysiak. I predict he ties or breaks it one night. … Tarps are coming off the greens at local golf courses in the next few days, which means golf season is just around the corner.