Noteworthy: Show me a (better) sign

By Bruce Penton on September 11, 2024.

Motorists driving south from Costco on Box Springs Boulevard see a series of mini billboards that really don’t do much for me. Even travelling at the 50 km/h speed limit, my eyes and brain can’t read the entire message on the signs.

The first one says: “This could be the day your heart stops…” and there’s a number of words – probably important words – in relatively finer print below those first eight attention-grabbers. I have no idea what the sign is all about. If I was walking, no problem. If I was on a bicycle, I could stop and investigate further. But in a vehicle, no chance.

Maybe it’s an advertisement for a funeral home. “If your heart stops today, have your family give us a call.” Or maybe it’s a defibrillator sales pitch. “If your heart stops today, be prepared with our best product.” Or maybe it’s just a repeat of something my mother used to always tell me: “Make sure you’re wearing clean underwear” because you never know when you’ll end up in the hospital. Or, in this case, the morgue.

The next sign along the way says “Marry Me” and then, again, more words underneath that probably clearly explains things.

Here’s a pitch for newspaper advertising. Your print message can be read over and over again, slowly if need be, but your complete message will get through. As for “this could be the day your heart stops” … that’s absolutely true, but I’d love to know the rest of the message. Presumably, it offers a solution.

• If I were Catholic, which I’m not, I’d head for the confessional booth and ask the priest for forgiveness for my penchant for small-time gambling. It’s never very serious, mostly on sports events, and if $5 goes into or out of my pocket in a period of a week, it’s been a busy time. But I’ve got $20 riding on the future of Justin Trudeau. I say he won’t be leading the Liberal Party when the next election is held, figuring he’ll pull a Joe Biden and do what’s best for his party by stepping down.

The person I’m betting against is a former Member of Parliament from Manitoba who has been a lifelong friend and thinks he knows more about politics than I do. Well, it’s true, he does. But the heat is rising against Trudeau and I can’t see him dragging down his beloved Liberals by refusing to step away. Recent headlines in the Globe and Mail were: “Justin Trudeau says he’s staying, but his government acts like time is almost up,” and “Liberal MP doesn’t believe party can win next election with Trudeau at the top of the ticket.”

I think my $20 is looking pretty good and if I win, it’ll go to the Root Cellar.

The next federal election must be held on or before Oct. 20, 2025.

• Short snappers: The Guinness Book of World Records has been around since 1955 and was created by the same company which makes the Irish beer of the same name. Company officials created the book originally as a way to settle arguments in pubs. … Scottie Scheffler confirmed his No. 1 status as the world’s best golfer by winning the Tour Championship recently but his caddie, Ted Scott, had a pretty good year, too. It’s estimated he pulled down more than $5.2 million in his bag-carrying role. … They won’t make the playoffs, but the Blue Jays are showing signs of progress. Their televised games are hard on the ears though, whenever Buck Martinez opens his mouth. … Development of a right-turn-only lane for westbound traffic at Strachan Road and Thirteenth Avenue would make my day. It worked wonders at the bottom of Dunmore Road and it’s now my pet traffic peeve that the same isn’t being done at this particular intersection. Last week: 11 vehicles – the lead car planning to go straight, and waiting, waiting, waiting for the light to turn green; the next 10 with their right-turn signal flashing. I won’t bring this up again until at least October. … After a week or so of searching for fresh blueberries to sprinkle on my morning cereal – and finding none at the major grocery stores in Medicine Hat – I finally hit the jackpot Monday. I won’t say where, because the other stores may have restocked their supplies that day, too. … Gas prices are plunging. Most gas outlets were at $1.39.9 or $1.45.9 on Monday but Costco was all the way down to $1.26.9. … If you’ve ever vacationed in Rome, you probably visited the famous Trevi Fountain, tossed a coin into the water and made a wish. Reports now say officials are pondering a two-Euro fee to visit the site.

Bruce Penton is a retired News editor who may be reached at brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca

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