Noteworthy: Time to put the computer away for a little while

By Bruce Penton on December 31, 2025.

We’ve all heard the age-old ha-ha about not eating yellow snow, but did you know that eating snow of any colour can be trouble?

A typical snowflake has a lot of jagged edges to it, says a story on Axios.com, and when it falls through the atmosphere, it collects “more airborne pollution particles.”

A variety of chemicals, vehicle emissions, dust and microplastics are just some of the nasty pieces of danger that might become attached to a snowflake. A pile of snow could be especially harmful if it’s near industrialized areas and in large cities.

Suggests Axios: “Save your appetite for hot cocoa and cookies.”

â€¢ One thing we could use less of in 2026 is the habit of some goofballs who leave their shopping carts haphazardly sitting in the middle of a grocery store parking lot. All stores have cart chutes and it takes no more than 15 or 20 seconds to guide the cart back into a safe spot, but it’s incredibly bad form to leave it … wherever.

Do those people leave their dirty clothes on the floor at home? Likely.

â€¢ This could possibly be a repeat paragraph from a bygone column, but it’s one of my favourite lines: “Why did you become an editor?” And the answer: “Well, to make a long story short…”

â€¢ If you didn’t think phrase positioning in a sentence is important, check out what a sportscaster said recently about quarterback Max Johnson of North Carolina, who suffered a horrific broken leg last year: “It was thought that he might lose that leg for a while.”

For a while? If a leg is lost through amputation, it’s pretty well forever. Medical science, artificial intelligence or the best 3D printer couldn’t replace that leg.

What the sportscaster meant to say, using the exact same set of words, but located in different positions: “It was thought for a while that he might lose that leg.”

â€¢ Since this is the final weekly Noteworthy column – yes, it’s time to put the computer away – it’s only appropriate to look ahead to see what we can expect during the next 12 months:

January: Pierre Poilievre gets a rousing ovation from delegates to the Conservative Party of Canada gathering in Calgary, and the review of his leadership gains 75-per-cent approval. The loudest cheers for the leadership review decision however, come from the headquarters of the Liberal Party in Ottawa.

February: Red-faced Canadian Olympic officials say that due to a series of horrible registration mixups, Rachel Homan would be starting in goal for Canada’s Olympic hockey team and Connor McDavid would throw skip stones in the men’s curling competition.

March: The Trump administration announces a number of name changes to familiar entities in the United States: JFK Airport in New York will now be DJT-JFK Airport and April 1 will now be known as Donald Trump Day.

April: The Medicine Hat News will again forgo an April Fools-related story on its front page, with editor Scott Schmidt saying that most of the regular news, especially that emanating from the Legislature in Edmonton, is foolish enough.

May: While the Alberta Next panel recommended ditching the RCMP in favour of a provincial police force, and doing away with the Canada Pension Plan, Albertans become strongly in favour of a recommendation that the Alberta Next panel be ditched.

June: Hat motorists are delighted to see the city had erected “Right Turn Only” signage for right-lane westbound traffic on Strachan Road at 13th Avenue. “We’ve made a few traffic-related goofs in the past with widened boulevards, some weird traffic circles and such, but we finally came to our senses on this one,” says a city spokesperson.

July: Canadian rocker Tom Cochrane, the headliner at the Medicine Hat Exhibition & Stampede Night Show, is an hour late for his scheduled performance because, as he tells a reporter, “there are just too many great golf courses in this city and not enough time.”

August: A proposal in front of city council asks to consider a name change: From the Gas City to the Deer City. “We’re doing an analysis right now to find out what we have more of – gas or deer,” says Mayor Linnsie Clark. “Early projections say it’s close.”

September: Premier Danielle Smith announces that as of Sept. 1, all school children in the province will start the day in the classroom by singing the anthem, “O Alberta.”

October: Canada’s infatuation with the Blue Jays leads to talk about replacing the Maple Leaf flag with the Blue Jays’ logo and to appoint Hazel Mae as governor general.

November: The Alberta government steps in to override a Medicine Hat city council decision to jail, for a minimum of 12 months, dog owners who fail to pick up their pet’s droppings from city trails. “Twelve months is too punitive,” says a provincial government spokesman. “We’d suggest only six months in the clink.”

December: A mob of two people storm the Medicine Hat News office to demand a return in 2027 of the Noteworthy column. The mob is offered a warm drink and sent on its way after being assured the Noteworthy writer had nothing else of consequence to say.