Art of Finding Work: Job seekers – You only control three things

By Nick Kossovan on August 23, 2025.

Take a step back from all the toxic noise surrounding job searching these days. If you’re a job seeker in 2025, you’re likely feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and quite possibly angry. Also likely, you spend an excessive amount of time scrolling through LinkedIn, reading posts criticizing employers’ and recruiters’ hiring practices and lamenting the job market.

Criticism is fair, but it’s most effective when it is based on accurate information and constructive solutions, which job seekers rarely provide or present in a way that benefits the employer’s self-interest. Job seekers’ frustration arises not from the job market itself, but from attempting to control things outside their control, often fuelled by a sense of entitlement.

Job search reality is simple: Seekers control three things:

1. What they’re thinking;

2. What they do, don’t do;

3. How they handle emotion.

Whether professionally or socially, when it comes to interacting with people, the inescapable truth is that your power of influence ends where the other person’s begins.

If they wanted to reply, they would. If they wanted to talk to you, they would.

You have no control over other people’s behaviour. Whether someone likes or loves you is their decision, not yours. Changing the way someone behaves towards you or treats you isn’t something you can force; it’s entirely their choice.

To speed up your job search, you need to shift your focus from what you wish you could control (wishful thinking) to what you actually can. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, there’s no time in your life when the phrase attributed to Brian Tracy-“How you think is everything!”-is truer than when job searching.

What You’re Thinking Now

Your thoughts shape your outcomes. If you want to change your life, particularly in terms of your job search, you need to start thinking differently. This begins with carefully selecting what you watch, read, and whom you listen to. These choices greatly influence your future thoughts and perspectives. Consume content that reflects the person you aim to be.

Job seekers tend to dwell on negativity. They convince themselves that they’re undervalued and that employers are unfair for not catering to their needs. The more you complain that employers don’t know how to hire, the more you drain your energy and distract yourself from what truly matters: your own actions.

What You Do or Don’t Do

There are two types of job seekers:

1. Proactive;

2. Reactive.

Being reactive is much easier, which is why the job market is largely populated with reactive job seekers. They wait for employers to post jobs, even though it’s well known that most jobs are never advertised.

What you do, or don’t do, determines your job search success. I’ve yet to meet a job seeker who’s doing everything they can: create a resume that highlights their impact on past employers, fully optimizing their LinkedIn profile and activity, including a compelling cover letter (not including one is lazy), being mindful of their appearance and mannerisms, and taking the necessary steps to reach out to people who can assist in their job search. All your actions related to your job search, especially those that employers will see and evaluate, must be strategic and intentional.

How You Handle Emotions

A person’s ability to manage their emotions is a key indicator of their maturity and professionalism. Every time you choose discipline over mood, you invest in your future. Every time you choose mood over discipline, you withdraw from it.

It’s the expectations that job seekers have of employers that cause their frustrations to turn into anger. When you face rejection or silence from employers, it’s easy to fall into negativity. However, controlling your emotional response is essential. When you publicly display your frustrations and anger, employers see that you can’t manage your emotions, which is a turnoff. Criticizing hiring practices, over which you have no control, not only wastes your time and energy but also damages your professional image.

Creating stories to protect your ego, such as claiming that ghosting is rude or that feedback is owed, wastes mental energy. Ghosting has become a social norm, and as to be expected, has shifted into the workplace. While ghosting is unprofessional, you can’t prevent it from happening, no matter how much you rage against it. My take: consider being ghosted as your answer. Employers have no formal (keyword) obligation to job seekers; their priority is their employees and business objectives.

Stop wasting time and energy trying to influence what you can’t control. Instead, focus on what you can: your thoughts, actions, and emotional responses. The job search landscape may seem apocalyptic, especially if you buy into all the negativity. However, by taking control of the three aforementioned pillars, you shift your perspective to see all the opportunities that are still available in today’s job market. Focusing on possibilities rather than impossibilities will improve your job search outcomes.

More than ever, achieving job search success requires taking decisive actions, maintaining a positive mindset, and understanding what you can and can’t control. Focusing your attention on what you can control is key to transforming your job search.

Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers advice on searching for a job. You can send Nick your questions at artoffindingwork@gmail.com

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