Rock Ramblings: Signs of spring

By Medicine Hat News on March 29, 2018.

Last week the first official day of spring went down and, unofficially, I bought into what Mother Nature was pawning off. Like every other man with a garage who doesn’t use it to store vehicles, I could be found inside, messing with the automatic door opener and re-examining my season priorities. The first obstacle to tackle was to fill this cluttered space with music because it had already been filled with recyclables from the previous winter. “Easy enough,” I said to myself as I leaned over the wooden bench and plugged in the boom box that was used when Noah was still building his boat.

Now maybe it was the lack of TLC that caused the radio to do nothing but collect dust or it could have been from the time I spilled motor oil on it/in it or it might have had something to do with the dozen or so falls that my little Magnavox has suffered over the past two decades but the only sound that emanated from the speakers was silence. That’s not entirely true though because the cassette player did fire up long enough to get through most of Accept’s “Balls to the Wall” and even part of Danzig’s “Mother” from my mixed tape, aptly titled “For Garage Use Only, Vol. IV” before the fuzz box came to a grinding halt, much like skating on pavement.

And so after ensuring that I could still pass the “Drunken Sailor Obscenity” exam, I turned to my good friend Alexander Keith and the Lager of Lucky. During the lack of rock my ears (and nose) picked up on some different elements of spring.

Woodpeckers and chickadees could be heard across the neighbourhood; the wafting aroma of Bullseye BBQ sauce kept the stomach growling; everywhere I looked dogs were reacquainting themselves with fire hydrants of days gone by; kids were already leaving the new version of banana seat bikes on front yards; and adults were back into the habit of jaywalking.

And in my confusion of failing to recognize the difference between a queen-sized gopher and Balzac Billy, it occurred to me that I do have the means to accurately decipher spring and didn’t even have to leave the confines of the garage. In my neighbourhood there lives a man, a man older than the aforementioned boombox and a man who apparently owns no shirts because every time I see him, the old boy is half naked, much to my chagrin. More accurate than Environment Canada and as hairy as the gopher puppet from “Caddyshack,” this old codger hibernates through the cold months, only to be seen from his front door, a plate of pate in one hand and pointing out lawn flaws to his wife with the other. Stare too long and you will go blind but I have glimpsed “half-naked man” recently, a sure sign that spring is well on it’s way.

And if you’ve got something on your mind, you can find Poncho weekday mornings on Medicine Hat’s Best Rock, 105.3 Rock. You can also track him down at http://www.1053rock.ca or on Twitter @ponchoparker

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