After self-harming since Grade 6, struggling with an alcohol and drug addiction for decades, and daily thoughts of ending his life, Damyan Davis received help in December 2014 and turned his life around. He wants you to reach out for help, too.--SUBMITTED PHOTO
gslade@medicinehatnews.com@MHNGillianSlade
After decades of battling addiction to drugs and alcohol, a local resident has a message of hope.
Damyan Davis, 42, resident of Cypress County, says it is possible to get to a place of being recovered.
The eldest of three boys in a middle-class home where his father was an alcoholic, Davis was already dealing with self harm and suicidal thoughts by Grade 6. He was seeing a psychiatrist but there was no significant progress.
By Grade 7 he started drinking, which helped the negative self talk disappear temporarily.
He was a star athlete and a grade A student. On weekends he experimented with alcohol.
“Booze was the social lubricant,” he says.
By junior high he was into hard drugs because alcohol was not enough to stop the terrible thoughts. At college, with added freedom, his use of drugs escalated.
He entered the workforce with what he calls “an amazing job” in the oil and gas industry and earned really well. He socialized and thrived in his career.
But the drugs and alcohol eventually stopped curbing those negative thoughts of himself. He was desperate and reached out for counselling.
“I was in a crisis, at my lowest point,” said Davis, who says while he needed help immediately, he faced waits for appointments.
Multiple counsellors attempted to figure out why he felt hopeless but never got to the bottom of it, he says.
He was far from the image many people have of someone at rock bottom. He was extremely successful, and on the outside everything looked perfect.
“I worked all over the world. I had houses and cars,” but in a very dark place.
“Contemplating suicide on a daily basis.”
He attended a 21-day residential recovery program. He thought alcohol and drugs were his problem. He was told he would always be in recovery.
The self doubt returned, the same thoughts he’d experienced in Grade 6, that he did not deserve to be here.
After 10 months he turned back to alcohol and drugs for relief.
“At least then those voices stopped,” said Davis.
He was in and out of 12-step programs for about seven years, ending Dec. 19, 2014.
“I heard a message for the first time that I could get to a place of (being) recovered,” said Davis.
It gave him hope. He heard from others who had first hand experience of what he was going through and he took the action that was needed. He’d found people who knew what it was like to feel like he did rather than just having knowledge of addiction, he explained.
“Nobody had ever told me that I had a disease,” said Davis, noting he’d been thinking of ending his life in Grade 6 before he ever turned to alcohol or drugs.
Finally someone explained the disease of addiction to him. He had hope and had the courage to use the tools being offered to him. He thought he would not be alive much longer if he did not. He’s been free of drugs and alcohol since.
Davis met and married a woman and now has three little boys.
He hopes his personal story will spark conversations in families. Even those who have not turned to alcohol or drugs to address feelings of self-doubt or anxiety. He wants them to know they can reach out.
There is no shame in asking for help, he says.
If you are struggling right now, please reach out for help, says Canadian Mental Health. You can contact the distress centre at 1-800-784-2433.
To find out more about community supports call 211.
