@ponchoparker
On average, we use approximately nine per cent our brain though it’s been argued radio announces have a slight disadvantage, using only six per cent. Regardless, that’s like renting a triple car garage to park your red 10-speed in. And it then it dawned on me what all that extra room is being used for – storage.
It was announced that 105.3 Rock is presenting Buckcherry on May 7 at the Canalta Centre and the moment I heard, the caretaker of my noggin’ walked down those dark and empty corridors known as the recesses of my brain and dusted off the file called “When I met Buckcherry.” And faster than a double-jointed rope jumper, memories I thought didn’t even exist were brought to the front of the line and so I thought I’d like to share my Buckcherry experience with you as well.
For those of who aren’t familiar with Buckcherry, two of the their biggest hits are aptly titled “Lit Up” and “Crazy Bitch,” far from the lullabies that you sing to Junior every night. The band has piercings where orifices ceased to exist, makeup is purchased by the pallet (and no, there are no women in Buckcherry), the leather pants that are worn are so tight pliers are needed to pull the zipper up and their tattoos read like an encyclopedia of seedy and lustful stories that would make a full time sailor blush. And so despite my anticipation of bending the ear of a group of musicians that live the stereotyped “rock ‘n’ roll life,” the ticket I bought for the Buckcherry roller-coaster was a much different carnival ride than I thought.
Hailing from a climate where block heaters are rarer than Mr. Snuffleupagus, frontman Josh Todd and guitarist Keith Nelson were more excited than the first time you saw Big Bird’s best buddy all because of a very useful little feature that us northerners know as a “car-starter.” Taken for granted in the Great White North, Buckcherry was smitten with the idea of starting your ride without having to be close to it, in it or even near it. Dropping $6 words and stringing sentences together like an English professor over at the college, the clarity and conciseness of their thought process was very impressive, even if we were talking about doo-dads and flux capacitors and how it all fit into the remote car-starter grand scheme of life.
Similar to that of a top-loading VHS machine, fast forward to the last hour before the doors at the gig open. I found myself inside the venue genuinely expecting to see the band cavorting with groupies, double fisting tequilas and swearing at the locals. I must have been looking in the wrong places because what I did see was Josh skipping rope around the empty dance floor. “Getting exercise,” he said. “Keith is upstairs getting a bite. You can join him” or at least something very close to that. Much like the scene downstairs, there was Keith snacking away but instead of your typical bar burger and beer, it was a buffet of fruit and other healthy food, much I which I didn’t recognize.
Had the rock ‘n’ roll world gone crazy?
Now I remember that Buckcherry show as very memorable in terms of a great concert. Those guys on the stage gave everything they had that night and the people could feel it which started the cycle for the duration of the evening. You wouldn’t want your doctor’s breakfast to consist of a eight-pack of Lucky Lager before he performs your vasectomy and applying that principle to rock music, it occurred to me that outfits like Buckcherry don’t want that for their fans either. At least not until after the show. And now if you’ll excuse me, I also have to start looking for the folder in my mind titled, “Where did I hide the spare key for your house?”
And if you’ve got something on your mind, you can find Poncho weekday mornings on Medicine Hat’s Best Rock, 105.3 Rock. You can also track him down at 1053rock.ca or on Twitter @ponchoparker
