April 19th, 2018

Rock Ramblings: A man full of ideas

By Medicine Hat News on March 16, 2017.

As I sit here staring at this blank piece of paper that’s as blinding as the snow I say to myself two things. 1.) I’m cool with not seeing snow again. 2.) What shall I write about? (FYI if you write shall, you appear smrter)

Every once in a while I get ideas that would make great skits on “Saturday Night Live” or movie thoughts. A skit for “SNL” would include a guy who says “Don’t make me sad, you won’t like me when I’m sad!” and then he shrinks down and turns blue. He’s the Incredible Sulk. And for my movie idea, I’ve had a few, like that one movie called “We Own the Night,” I basically thought of that like a year before it came out, but I had no proof and no one believed me.

So, I guess, if I put my other movie idea on paper I’ll have proof for when it is released? My newest movie plot would be a superhero movie (real original, Steve) but it wouldn’t have anything to do with superheroes, just the path of destruction they leave behind. Like it would take place the next day after an epic battle where buildings are blown up and cities are mangled. And it would all happen from the clean-up crew’s point of view.

They would be disgruntled and furious with superheroes! Such as when they see a kid wearing their favourite hero’s shirt they’d knock his ice cream cone out of his hand. Imagine if you were the foreman on the crew in Gotham after Batman crashed his batwing into Superman and pushed him through 14 buildings and the actual ground. You’d show up to work and have no idea what to do. Like, what good is my shovel gonna be? You’d just stare at the mess and mutter “unbelievable” under your breath like your father did when you didn’t clean up your toys.

Also, the worst part is Superman could probably clean the whole thing up in an hour, but does he ever offer to help? Nope! So the crew despises him and they make jokes at the jobsite like “Superman? More like Superjerk!!!” and say things like “Didn’t his mother make him clean up after himself?”

I’d call the movie the “Unrecognized Heroes” and it’d have a killer soundtrack. Songs like “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” and “Kryptonite” (just as a shot at Superman).

There you have it, my movie idea. And just like my other ideas I assume this will be made into a movie and when I tell people I thought of it they’ll look at me like the “Unrecognized Heroes” look at the next day’s destruction, thinking, “where do I even begin?”

Steve Ball’s stream of consciousness can also be heard on 105.3 ROCK, Wed-Fri nights 7-10. Additionally, on 1053rock.ca, the free 105.3 ROCK app, and the new Radioplayer Canada app.

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